In this fast paced world we live in it seems that nothing stays cool or alt for long. Ironic Glasses with no lenses, high top kicks, american appy, scarves, beards, skinny jeans, jeremy scott, ed banger have all trickled into down to the mainstream dudes overzealous teens and high school girls. It seems that everytime some alt discovers some new thing to wear/do/say/eat/go the teens and dude bros steal it right out from under them. This is why I propose the Alts fight back and in turn begin to steal stuff from the mainstreamers. It would not only be extreme hilarity, but it would also teach people a lesson about not stealing.Ways for an ALT to infultrate mainstream culture:
- Begin to listen to pop music; The Jonas Brothers are a good start, and go to concerts at large venues. However in order to keep your alt appeal make sure to just stand and judge.
- Go on shows like “Keys to the VIP” and refuse to get anyones number. Instead take over DJing at the club (This club will most likely be named TONIC and/or LIQUID)
- Begin going to Tim Hortons instead of Starbucks or other high end coffee establishments. However continue to use the high end coffee lingo (tall, grande, venti, foam, soy etc.) and order things that Tim Hortons would never sell.
- Get a 9-5 job but be terrible at it, and come in wearing the most ridiculous outfits you can muster.
- Start to watch team sports, however make sure you always cheer for the more fashionable team and never know anything specific about what is going on, you may also want to yell at inappropriate times when nothing has really occured (Note: this may work better when with a group of people or at a random sports bar)
- and finally to really kick them where it hurts begin to randomly and often drink Jagger bombs, not as a shot, but as a drink you sip…..preferably out of a mug.
(An Alt Bro Neatly sipping his Jagger Bomb) I believe this will be big in 2K9.
So a little while back doinwork.com found out that Lindz was having a birthday bash and was looking for sponsors to well………..sponsor the event. Immediately after we heard this we sent an email with our interest at being one of the sponsors for this amazing occasion.
Here is the E-mail we sent.
We have been waiting fervently for a reply from Lindsey’s people but didn’t end up hearing. Then it turns out that the party was canceled completely. Gah, that night could have been such a magical adventure, but it was snuffed out before it even had a chance. This sucks, i bet i would have met sheckler at that party. Shit i bet Gretchen would even be there. So many missed opportunities.
So we just got back from L.A. and were partying with the cast from The Hills, and everybody else who is cooler that a fuckin MTV show. But anyways we actully got Lindsay Lohans phone number. If you actully want to talk to her, annoy her or what ever you assholes who are not legit in L.A. do call this number (213) 747-8650.
So its technically tuesday right now but who’s counting. A friend of mine sent me this t-shirt design featuring ms, Lohan. I think its pretty awesome, what are your thoughts?
I really dont know what Lindsey Lohan is doing these days. Actually what is she really doing? When was the last time she actually did some real work. I know there was the risque photo’s she did as an “attempted” homage to Marilyn Monroe, but looking at them i dont really believe that that should be considered work. All she has honestly done is just wander around L.A and get the paparazzi to take her picture a shit load of times. Come one Lindsey, get to fucking work and do something. I dont care if its another peice of shit like “i know who killed me” or whatever. Just do something already. Also what the fuck is up with her skin, ease up on the fake tans will ya.
I think my number one pet peeve right now is shirts and pants with too much shit all over them. Coming in at a close second is the dreaded “going out” shirt, with its obnoxious print that doesn’t look any better at night than it would during the day. But i digress. These fucking pieces of clothing that are laden with graphics of phoenixes on the back, or embroidered with some fucking stupid ass design on the leg really piss me off. Why do you need all that stuff? Do you want to look like a clown, do you want to look like you just flew in from the czech republic, are you Keith Urban at the CMA’s? Its really such a sad thing to see because id say that at least 50% of the clothes would look perfectly fine if you just took the dragon print off the back, or the lettering off the arm, or the embroidered roses of your pant pocket. Clean lines is where its at. Here are a few side by side examples so you can see the truth of what i am saying.
Sue Stubbings, a relative to non other than Matt the Stubb? Possibly, except for the fact that he does not know her. Over the lasts year Matt has been receiving emails from Sue Stubbings. He has never replied but kept them all and after reading these one sided conversations we just needed to know more about this lady. Who is she? Where does she live? Starting this impossible task Matt started looking into some of the locations Sue has been mentioning in her emails and it was decided that maybe she was from Southern England. Great, with a population of 58,845,700 how will we ever find out about one who calls herself Sue?
Digging a little further we found this wonderful website ip-adress.com. With the emails we were able to get her general location being
Email Sender IP address location & IP address info:
Yes thats right, you heard me. I am cooler than you and here is why. I have famous friends…………….on Facebook. As of today i am friends with probably the two coolest guys in Hollyweird; Steve Aoki and Rob Dyrdek. If you dont believe me here is the proof, so read it and weep suckers!
Almost 3 years ago a friend of ours Cam came up from Toronto, and taught us this new cutting edge drink called the Jager Bomb. It was apparently so wreckless due to the combination of an energy drink (an upper) and alchol (a downer) and the results would blow your mind. We didn’t really care about that but it tasted not bad, and there was this whole new dropping process people seemed to love so we ran with it.
However over the last 3 years the Jager Bomb has gone from a rarely ordered frowned upon drink to the new mainstream drink for every teen on the block. My enjoyment for the drink slowly faded as it started to be drank by and promoted to dudes and blonds across the globe. Even a local bar known for its population of visor wearers, Minglewoods, started advertising with “Cheap Jager Bomb Tuesdays”.
About 5 months ago I saw this video on you tube, and summarized my emotions about where the Jager Bomb has been taken.
So… You might be thinking the same thing, and are wondering what to do now. Well never fear, we have invented a new drink that will get you more street cred and ladies than the Jager Bomb ever could. Next time your at the bar, order yourself a Lindsay Lohan. The bar tender will likely say “I am sorry what is that…” You explain well its a drop shot, with liquid cocaine into Coke. Its basically just alot of coke, like Lindsay Lohan likes when she goes out. The bartender often a cute female will enjoy it, trust me. Then for the rest of the night order lindsay lohans for everyone. Its actually a surprisingly amazing drink.
The best part is when the guy in the striped shirt orders 4 Jager bombs, you get to smile at the cute bartender and order 8 lindsay lohans, and it will be 3 more years untill they know whats going on. So get out there and promote the lindsay lohan as the new drink of choice for people who are down with la new shit.
Apparently Lindsey Lohan is rocking the modern pirate look as seen below. This could be inspired by her up coming roll. She is obviously taking it very seriously.
We love Lindsey and we love pirates so imagine how pumped we were when we found out there’s going to be a new installment of the ever so famous Pirates of the Caribbean saga. The thing is Kira Knightley is off the bill being replaced by Lindsey Lohan. If there was any movie that could be Lindseys HUGE come back it would be this. The movie is called Pirates of the Caribbean - Gambling 8 Balls in theaters July 7 2009. This is the first round of poster releases. I’m already getting my fan mail ready to send for this movie!
So apparently Lindsey Lohan is becoming strapped for cash. HAHAHAHAHA, she spent so much money on coke and hanging out at The Chateau Marmont doing coke that she had to sell two of her apartments. She really needs a supplemental income since I doubt she will be in any money making movies in the future. Perhaps a career in the service industry. I hear prostitution is a fairly lucrative career.
Mark my words: in history books fifty years from now, Lindsay Lohan will be remembered as a hero, a god, a settler of genocide, a robin hood-like stealer and giver, a LA johnny appleseed, and most importantly, that medium fatty girl that in that movie about those un-nice girls discovered that theres more to life than being a bitch.
Point is, we want to start celebrating her early. Fifty years early. Every monday (starting in a week or two) on doinwork.com will be Lindsay Lohan Monday - a day of the week devoid anything but the hottest LL shit we can think of.
We love you Lindsay. God speed!
NOTE: This is not a celebrity gossip blog… except for on Monday’s with Lohan. Let’s face it, talking about her makes us feel really (really really) good about ourselves.
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